International Women’s Day: A Reflection

I woke up this morning and suddenly realized that it was International Women’s Day. I want to take a moment to thank all the women that have helped me on my path of becoming a Feminist and helping me realize that my words do matter no matter how much people try to drown out my voice. It has been a long journey to this point, heartache was one of the many things I have experienced when becoming an activist; the pain is not over yet. Several things have happened in the past week up here in Canada that need to be addressed.

Over the few years I have been an activist, I have realized that people who are in positions of power do not want to leave their comfort zone. Marginalized people had to fight tooth and nail to get what they want from those in power and we are still fighting tooth and nail. Indigenous women are still murdered, prostituted, and raped in high numbers and the government refuses to accept any responsibility for their apathy to the suffering of Indigenous women. Just yesterday, Peter Mckay threw down the report to the floor in a fit of childish male-rage; that report contained 16 recommendations that the government suggests would be beneficial for Indigenous peoples. Of course, like any typical Conservative government, the recommendations do not even strike at the heart of the issue of missing and murdered Indigenous women. Instead, there isn’t even a mention about an inquiry into the 800+ Indigenous women that have gone missing which is what the opposition has requested. Events such as these are reasons why women should no longer trust the government, all the government is, is just a bunch of rich white men who abuse their power and authority over the people they rule.

Harper has proven this point for the eight years he has been Prime Minister that he does not care for the people; he has silenced the voices of Feminists and various people who speak out against his crimes and his lack of regard for women’s lives. The Canadian Museum for Human Rights has recently rejected a article about International Women’s day because the article had a section in the article in which the ‘Communications’ at the Museum deemed “unacceptable.” What does this say about Canadians when not even a historian can speak about the government in a way that people won’t like? Can’t anyone criticize a man without being seen as a big meanie and needing to be silenced? This just proves that women need to push harder for a woman-centered society, that the government needs to be taken down and the state abolished. Women (especially women of color and Indigenous women) are still seen as second-class citizens; replaceable baby-makers for the male state to use and abuse, tossed to the side when they grow bored of them.

It is a sobering fact that women’s history is constantly erased on a daily basis, any contribution that a woman makes to society is immediately taken away from her and a man’s name is slapped on it. Women either die or kill themselves because not only is their genius not being recognized but their pain is made illegitimate; we have lost too many women to the death grip of Patriarchy and male violence. Many women that have contributed to the Arts and various pursuits will not be known for these contributions and instead their deaths will be romanticized and remembered as such. These women must be remembered and their legacy must be protected from being erased by the Father-Right; all women must be protected at all costs.

I do not want to see another article or news story about a woman dying in her home or raped by a large group of men; I do not want to see another act of injustice committed against women. This will be an impossibility because the death of women are an everyday occurrence, that doesn’t we give up because it seems impossible. I didn’t want to be the party-pooper on this very important day, though I have a hard time understanding why remembering women’s accomplishments should be relegated to one day, but we have to remind ourselves that there is still work that needs to be done; the liberation of women from male power still needs to be accomplished.

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And Logic Has Left the Building……..

If there was ever a point where I am so flabbergasted by the idiocy of human beings that I have no idea what to type, this would be one of those times. Jessica, a writer on ImperfectParent, demonstrates her complete lack of trying to understand the complexities of society and the gender roles that Patriarchy enforces on children. Her article about a book called “My Princess Boy” is a classic example of people stifling the spirit of children. Not only is her post offensive but the comments in the article are equally offensive but first, let’s focus on the article.

Jessica starts off by titling her article “My Princess Boy: Must our children be burdened with this?” And this is where I facepalm myself really badly. The author is implying that the author of My Princess Boy is trying to torment the poor children by telling them that it is okay to be different. To wear a dress and because a boy is wearing a dress, that doesn’t mean that he deserves to be bullied for it. Same with little girls who are into “guy things.” There should be no double standards here. How hard a concept is that to understand?

Apparently for Jessica, it is very difficult. She cannot seem to understand for the life of her why a boy would want to wear a dress. Here in the following quote, she decides to go the “gender roles are natural” route and falls flat on her face in the process of reaching that conclusion.

The problem as I see it is this — gender roles are a NORMAL part of growing up. It’s a healthy distinction and children are who are not born with a gender identity issue or who are comfortable with their gender, as most people are, shouldn’t be made to feel that gender is interchangeable and something that is only imposed by big, bad people in a big, bad society.

I guess she must have a problem with women with short hair and *gasp* pants? I mean, that is what MEN wear! Men are naturally inclined to beat women to a pulp. Right? Right?!? No, Jessica, social constructs are not “natural.” You are confusing gender with sex. A girl wearing pants and t-shirt does not mean that she thinks that she is male. She is wearing clothes that are COMFORTABLE. The same with the boy wearing the dress or maybe because he likes wearing dresses? But, oh, that is impossible, isn’t it? How could children not always fall in line with Patriarchy? I mean, we are raising them to be the dead soldiers in our society, correct? Those little fags should be muscular and macho guys! Take off that dress! You are a boy, not a girl! *wags a scolding finger*

She also does not seem to understand that, yes, it IS society that is forcing gender roles on children. Unless she has living under a rock for the past century, you cannot go anywhere without some advertisement selling toys to specific children based on “gender.” (Barbies for girls. Trucks for boys, remember?). You cannot go anywhere without some asshole making a misogynistic or homophobic comment and people enabling it. These are not isolated incidents and it is also not “natural” for people to be total jackasses. These events plus many more are a symptom of a very screwed up society. A society built on the degradation and humiliation of the oppressed classes. We make excuses for why we oppress them and it is perfectly accepted and toted a “natural.” To say so, is excusing bad behavior and saying that it is completely okay to bully people. I guess it was perfectly “natural” for Neurotypical people to bully me because I am Autistic? That it is perfectly okay and that it is not the fault of the parents for not teaching their children to not bully other children?

She continues on her very short rant on those silly boys in dresses by stating that “gender roles are a complex idea for children.” Didn’t she say a while ago that gender roles are a “normal part of growing up”? If the concept of gender was so darn complex then why the claim that gender roles are a natural part of growing up?

That is a big, complex idea for children. While my heart goes out to this child and I hope he can find peace and understanding amongst the world of cruel children, however, if you’re going to test the boundaries and celebrate it, you can’t expect to have the world join you. Good, bad or indifferent, there will be emotional consequences as with most choices in life.

Here is something that will blow Jessica’s mind: children are not naturally cruel, they are not some separate alien race that just landed on this planet and decided to be nasty people. You want to know who taught them to be that way? I will give you a hint: It has nothing to do with “gender” and it is not incredibly complicated. Their parents taught them to be that way. Children do not just inherent awful ideas about people out of thin air, they learn some of their behavior from their parents and society. I am pretty sure the boy in the story is just asking the mean kids to, I don’t know, let him be himself? Let him to do what he wants? What? Granting children the same basic human rights is too much work for parents? I am also pretty certain that the boy is not asking the world to “join him.” Whatever the fuck that means. He is saying “I am here. I like dresses. I am no different from you. I am a human being and I deserve to be treated with respect.” I am also 100% certain that he is at peace with himself and other gender non-conforming children. Thank you very much. Is that such an awful burden on children? Doesn’t sound like it to me. Would you, also care to explain “emotional consequences”?

She finishes off her short rant with a phrase that would need a “no shit, Sherlock” button. Her claims that allowing a child of either sex to wear the clothing of their choosing is “politically correct” is nonsense. Her claim is attempting to erase the issue of bullying by blaming the victim for their suffering and not the people and the society that shaped those bullies in the first place. First off, asking children to be accepting of another child is not “putting a burden on them.” How hard could it be to teach children to be compassionate unless you are a walking cold stone yourself, it is not that hard to teach your kids the “golden rule.”

One thing that our children need to learn is not everybody is going to like them and accept them and that’s okay, however, my real issue with all of this is that we’ve come into such a politically correct society that everyone, every parent, thinks that their children’s “problems” need to be every child’s burden to bear and I don’t see how that’s helpful. The world does not revolve around any child. The world does not revolve around bullies, it doesn’t revolve around the child who gets everything she wants and it doesn’t revolve around a preschool boy who chooses to wear dresses.

Wearing clothing of the opposite sex does not equal wanting the world to revolve around them. Wearing is just that, wearing a dress. No hidden agenda or secret plot to turn the world into a gay mardi gras! The book is about a boy living his life as he chooses and his parents giving him the respect her deserves. This book is also about breaking away from the rules of society. If that message is too much for Jessica to handle then I have nothing else to tell her.

Men Behaving Badly (But It’s Totally Cool, Okay?)

Both my hands and my feet cannot count the number of men that act like nasty little shits toward people and yet are forgiven for their transgressions while I can only count on one hand the number of women that are given the same grace for the same crime. This has come to my attention because I recently found out that an emo band called The Used are unable to cross the Canadian border for the Canadian Warped Tour because according to frontman, Bert McCracken, he has criminal record. Even though it could be fixed if they just simply went into the border office with their lawyer and asked for a Temporary Residents Permit to enter Canada. But there seems to be no border that men like McCracken will not cross in order to display himself as a “rebel.”

Nonetheless, it’s just so goddamn embarrassing that these idiots never stopped to think about how their actions could effect their chances of entering Canada. Surprisingly, none of the other countries they have toured so far seem to have a problem with McCracken’s criminal record. A quick skim over to the comments section of this article and you start to see how their fans are defending them for their actions. It is irritating that society is willing to excuse men for their crimes while women get condemned for even so much as sipping on a beer! Yet, we dare call ourselves a ” post-feminist society.” If this is what a “post-feminist society” then I would hate to see what “an equal sexual relationship” looks like.

It’s also apparent in male internet personalities like Felix Kjellberg (AKA “PewDiePie”) can shout “rape” at everything and he gets rewarded with a Youtube Partnership and make millions of dollars from screaming at nothing and bragging about his success. Even if he makes an incest joke, no criticism is made in the comment section of his videos. Whenever there is a critic in the sea of easily entertained fanboys, they swarm like piranhas and defend his actions. The logic of people who are fans of men like PewDiePie is almost inhumane and shocking. Not only that; it is a classic case of the Liberal think-tank of “personal interpretation.” Not only is this argument abused and misused constantly, it is used in the wrong context. That is what you expect from teenagers trying to act intellectual on the internet, teenagers that do not understand the difference between a joke and some Swedish guy screaming obscenities on the internet. No wonder older people think that the majority of the young have ADD. This video demonstrates their lack of logic and reasoning. Bad spelling and all. The crappy part of it all is that a female Youtuber who puts effort into their content and works hard at trying to be entertaining has at least 600 subscribers while men like PewDiePie who puts no effort into their content has 3,000,000 subscribers and counting!

The double standards are so obvious and clear that a young child can spot them. The worse part is that no one except feminists and womanists are seeing this and offering solutions to this bullshit double standard problem. And no one is listening, they don’t want to know about how bad our society is. All they want to see is the positive when the reality is that the negative outweighs the positive. There is a time and place for optimism and it is not when an analysis is being made on societal structures. The time and place for optimism is when positive energy is needed for revolutionary action. The problem is that people are so trained in the self-help mantra of “looking for the light at the end of the tunnel” that they don’t see why the darkness is there in the first place. Self-help books will not dismantle patriarchy and neither will self-help thinking, it’s far too individualistic when individualism is not needed.

If you need more proof of men acting badly just look at this recent case. This case involves the frontman of lostprophets, Ian Watkins, is being charged with plotting to rape a baby! If this is not further evidence of the evils of patriarchy then I have no hope for humanity to actually understand how oppression works. If we lived in a “post feminist” society, stories and reports like this would not exist and if it did happen, the men would be condemned right on the spot. The Independent was smart enough to not allow comments but what would you think fans of this band would say? Would they defend his actions or say that it’s a “conspiracy theory”?

Lostprophets singer Ian Watkins reappeared in court today over allegations he plotted to rape a baby.

The 35-year-old, whose band has sold more than 3.5 million records worldwide, was arrested with two women earlier this month.

As well as being charged with conspiring to rape a child under the age of 13, Watkins faces five other sex abuse charges.

They include conspiring to engage in sexual activity with two young children as well as making, downloading and distributing child pornography and accessing “extreme pornography” – relating to animals.

He was remanded in custody over the Christmas period with two other women – who also face charges relating to child sex allegations.

The pair, aged 20 and 24 from Doncaster and Bedford respectively, cannot be named for legal reasons.

Today, Watkins and his co-defendants appeared in Cardiff Crown Court via video-link.

All three only spoke to confirm their names at the preliminary hearing, a formality in the legal process, which lasted less than 10 minutes.

Watkins was refused bail and remanded in custody with a plea and case management hearing scheduled at Cardiff Crown Court for March 11.

Are we finally gonna reach a point in our society where bad male behavior is condemned the way it is supposed to? For me? I not completely sure especially when the media has such an influence on our young people; influencing them to not a single critical thought about society. You must try everything in short of nearly killing yourself to fit in or you are nobody. Men, it seems, have no trouble of fitting in. They just have to have total disregard for all living beings without a penis (or even non-human beings for that matter) and they are set for the good life. No boundary or line shall be left uncrossed. No crime will go punished. Just make up some excuse or reason for your poor behavior and you will be rewarded. It helps if you have a following of people that are devoted to defend your shitty behavior as an added bonus.

I know that people will try to defend their behavior and say that I am wrong to make such “judgmental statements” on people I do not know.  I will first ask them to consider this, if these men were women and were caught doing these types of things, do you think they would be forgiven the same way? Does the media and the people that control it really care about the sex of the person that committed the crime? If you looked closely and observed, you would most certainly say “no” and “yes.” You will also observe that men are more likely to do horrible things for attention! And no one cares to notice this? They treat these events like isolated incidents? The very sad thing is that there people who will enable these men, who will not sit them down and tell them what they did was wrong and that need to change.

The constant barrage of misogyny needs to end and it needs to end with men recieving the punishment that fits their crime and that there would be no enablers. These men would then learn that their horrible actions against women and others HAVE negative consequences! I can’t wait until that day comes but it will never come if we just idly sit around and wait for it to happen. Nothing gets done if no action ever happens and no change happens if there is no movement.

Gamer Dudes: Knock it off with the misuse of “rape”!

A very noticeable trend is happening in the gaming community, of which consists of middle class, white dudes, a trend in which belittles the oppression and male violence that women experience in their daily lives under patriarchy. That trend is the misuse of the word “rape”. What do I mean by “misuse”? I mean, that these entitled, white dudes are using the word “rape” to describe defeating somebody. To the male, it may not seem like a huge deal because obviously he does not have to witness male violence through the eyes of women. He does not experience male violence. to women who live in patriarchy, this flippant misuse of “rape” belittles their experiences under patriarchy, it makes those experiences seem almost meaningless. That seems to be what these dudes want to achieve, they want to make it clear that they are in charge of the gaming community and if any woman complains about it then the men will destroy her with words and psychological games, their suffering is meaningless.

And they know what they are doing is wrong, they know that a woman is going to speak out against their misogyny sooner or later. But they couldn’t find it in themselves to care about women, they want to feel like rebels. They want to be considered as hyper masculine as athletes while maintaining their “nerd”  status. They want to be as big a threat to women as humanly possible and they don’t care if they traumatized the woman with misuse of the word “rape.” We have to look no further than the multitude of men making rape jokes during their “let’s plays”. Let’s plays are videos where the player commentates over the footage they have recorded for their videos, they make jokes and other remarks and comments about the game, graphics, voice acting and character design. Oftentimes, these jokes swan-dive into jokes about rape, incest and just recently menstruation, they believe they are so humorous and original when they make these jokes. They believe themselves to be geniuses who “push the envelope” of misogynistic humor. I am not one to fall into the subjectivity trap that “rape jokes” are “subject to debate.” There should be no reason to debate whether rape jokes should be considered acceptable. Rape jokes ARE unacceptable. Period.

But of course, they are men. Men allow themselves to get away with anything without any guilt or shame for their wrongs. They know that patriarchy has raised women to be silent. Men commit the horrible crimes against women yet expect women to see all men as innocent until guilty, as human beings. This is impossible while Patriarchy enslaves women; teaching women to fear strange men while trusting men who are close to us to not rape or harm women in any way. It’s saddening that men have to use such violent language to assert their masculinity but it’s not surprising.

I seriously wish that this wasn’t one of the major things in gaming culture, to use violent language in such a manner but it is and it needs to be acknowledged along with other forms of male warfare tactics. These type of actions are one of the many symptoms of rape culture and it needs to be undermined. No amount of Liberal/Libertarian bellyaching about “freedom of speech” is going to erase the damage or make the whole female population accept this behavior. This needs to STOP and it needs to stop now.

Porn Doesn’t Influence Men?

It is said that the very subtle cues and messages that we receive from mainstream media and our peers, influence our personal perception of each other and ourselves.  Many people will deny this and say that in today’s society, we are free from media’s influence that the subtle messages and cues no longer exist. The problem with this claim is that these people are insisting that every person on this earth lives in a social bubble where the messages that we receive have little influence in our lives. There is nothing wrong with having influence, we need influence to make our choices easier. It is human nature to be influenced by an outside force. The main problem is what the outside force is, whether this outside force is trustworthy and whether that trusting the outside force is a good idea.

Men influence women through means of controlling their minds and bodies. This is still happening in today’s society with the century long attack on female reproduction and the sexual slavery of women. This results in women who are more dependent on men and seek male wisdom instead of female wisdom.  The lowering of women’s wisdom and their value as human beings occurs when pornography and other misogynistic media becomes the worshiped.

Pornography is an example of male oriented influence being perpetuated on women, of women’s wisdom being treated poorly and degraded. The ideas that are presented in pornography are very misogynistic and degrading to women. The origins of pornography do not begin with women being “in control.”  The roots of pornography begin with being created by men for their carnal consumption, to degrade women, to lower women to objects. Pornography is for male eyes. Often times, men will force women to view this degrading material and to force their conformity on women. It is a fact in our society (i.e. Patriarchy) that women are second class citizens. We are only allowed a certain amount of power because men have allowed us to have power, the same power as a dog. Men will keep reminding us, however, of our supposed place in society, by the use of pornography, prostitution, rape and many forms of violence and torture. Many men will either deny doing any harm to women or will flat-out say that women enjoy being tortured and abused with the use of their phallus. They will have happy, smiling women to back up their claims, to make their abuse seem “natural” and “normal.” Pornography as mentioned before is the propaganda of their empire, pornography is the Soma of our generation. What is once considered “soft core” pornography and quite possibly some elements of “hardcore” pornography have seeped into the mainstream media. It is never wrong to say that we live in an image based, consumer-culture society-and images are a far easier way to consume a message. This message that is in these images are very impossible to avoid and is the main part in our society.

There are too many examples of pornographic images and pornographic influences in Western culture. Lingerie football is an example of or violent pornographic culture. Lingerie football is a sport with only one purpose: To sexualize violence against women. What I mean, is that the athletes (female; decked out in lingerie) are very violent and aggressive to one another. One of the other noticeable traits on Lingerie football is that the athletes wear no padding except for shoulder pads and helmets. If these types of traits were implemented into professional MALE sports franchises like Canadian Football League, where the male athletes must wear man thongs as part of their “uniform” there would be an outcry from football fans all over North America. Why would there be an outcry? There would be an outcry because football is a “manly” sport. No women allowed on the field. They are too delicate for such an aggressive sport they all say. The only way that they can market a “woman’s sport” is if they put them in the most humiliating outfit possible, the lower them into a spectacle. The erasure of their humanity becomes reality the minute men set eyes on them, in their horrifying uniforms. Women participating in a male dominated field such as sports are seen as a threat to society and therefore must be humiliated through their bodies, through male constructed sexuality. This is pornography in a more recognizably mainstream context, humiliating the caste class (women) to gain control. Women become the victims in our porn culture. Men become the aggressors and enforcers of porn culture. This is the “balance” in our society or what white men consider to be a “balanced and equal society”. To women who live in this society and must deal with the consequences of questioning the patriarchal status quo, this is an obvious lie. One cannot be happy or equal under a slave-state. One who lives in this society suffers for questioning her master.

It is very difficult to prove that pornography does not influence male perception of women or even how women view themselves. We can only look at the percentage of rape in our society, how prostitution has risen and the increase of male violence as the only evidence that pornography has a very negative effect in our society. The evidence is incriminating and there is no possible way to speak away the evidence and the components of patriarchy as an “inevitability” or “natural” or even more hilarious “a conspiracy.” This should be considered evidence that patriarchy as a whole needs to be dismantled. This will result in women being free from the confines of male slavery and domination.

There is often the common misconception of women who make “free choices” in patriarchy. The common misconception is that if a woman makes the “choice” to take part in very misogynistic activities such as prostitution or pornography without male influence, that she has made the choice on her own free will, we should not question it. That the woman has in some strange, post modernist fashion, “reclaimed” this horribly misogynistic activity. In the basis of reality and patriarchy, this is not so. There is simply no universal evidence that can prove this claim as correct. If this claim was true, then there would be no rape or any form of male violence. There would be no women in poverty. Women would not have to live with the shame of being sexual. Women would freely choose who to sleep with. This is not the world. Patriarchy can easily adapt to any social change. Patriarchy has a death grip on society. No matter how much neo-liberals have “reformed” patriarchy’s main institutions (Pornstitution, the church, the state, government, industrial civilization), patriarchy is still there. A powerful force like Patriarchy cannot be reformed, it thrives on the old traditions of female subjugation. it would be impossible for patriarchy to be anything positive women.

If anything needs to be learned from history and from daily observations in society, is that women can never hold the same place of power as men under patriarchy. Women can never feels safe in a violent culture and while pornography is the daily entertainment of men. Women are never safe when violent men are our leaders, relatives and co-workers. Women can never be free under fear, violence, poverty and despair which is Western society. The only reason that women have never been completely wiped out from the earth yet is that women are strong enough to fight back, to keep the possibility of female extinction at bay. Women need to end the possibility, indefinitely. This can only happen through female revolution.

Recommended reading:

Porn as a cause of rape by Diana Russell

Men and Porn by Edward Marriott

Censored Truth by Ann J. Simonton

MRAs don’t care about the women in their lives

The title is pretty much a well-known fact among the feminist community. Men’s rights activists, in general, don’t care about women; not even the women in their lives matter to them. If there are MRAs that DO care about women and that would be a very small percentage then good for you. Now all the MRAs that do care about women need to realize that their privilege harms the woman they claim to care about. Their privilege is the cause of women’s oppression, why the sex industry still exist,why women are more likely to be raped then men and why women are criticized for the little things while men can get away with something as little as having a pot belly.

Feminists such as myself never denied that men and boys get raped. What we find most horrifying is that they feel that it is feminism’s fault for the rape of men, that women are the ones raping men but they are not raping each other, that they are not committing violent acts against each other and women. That it is our fault that boys get sexually abused by men in positions of power and authority. The likelihood of a woman raping a man or physically strong enough to dominate him is pretty small compared to the number of women that are raped by their male romantic partners or the men that are close to them. Feminists  are also very concerned about the emotional well-being of children and that includes boys.

In their minds, they have the authority to question out experiences and suffering while we are not allowed to criticize their authority. That is pretty much the definition of hypocrisy and privilege denial.

If a woman fights, it is because she is defending herself, she is fighting back against the system that oppresses her. She is fighting for the unknown number of women that have been raped by men and murdered for 6,000 years. The women who are being prostituted, humiliated, abused, enslaved and maimed.

These MRAs however don’t see that, all they can see is that their privilege is in jeopardy by a woman fighting back. They hate women that never listen or submit to them or are physically strong enough to fight and beat them at their own game.

These men have the nerve to blame feminism for the way society treats them, their sexuality and pretty much anything else they can think of when they are pointing the finger at everyone but themselves and patriarchy for the wrongs of the poor innocent men.

They have the nerve to shit on the women that sacrificed everything for them! Their health, careers, personal freedom, money, time and friends to raise them. This is the thanks their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, cousins and sisters get? This is what the women in their lives sacrificed for? To be shitted on for nothing? To put up with their misogyny? Their rapist mindsets? Their denial of their privilege? The denial of the harm they cause to women including the ones in their lives? Is this what women get for demanding the same rights and treatment as men?

If MRAs really want to free men from the oppressive society, then they should be extremely critical of the portrayal of men as rapists, they should be critical of the patriarchal norm of masculinity. They should realize that their privilege harms women. They should reject the patriarchy and its perception of masculinity. They should realize that they have the ability and the consciousness to stop rape. To stop the oppression of women. If they acknowledge this and actually do something about women’s oppression and reject the patriarchy then they would be a legitimate movement.

Fat-phobia

Fat hatred is rampant in the pornified culture we live in. Sometimes fat hatred is more subtle than we think it is. Fat hatred could be a matter of commenting on the individual’s weight within the context of demanding that they lose weight, not for the individual’s benefit but for the benefit of the men that want to treat you like a fuck object. “But Bedelia, there is fat porn!” I hear you say, the point of fat porn is to objectify fat women, to lower them to the status of objects like their skinny counterparts. Pornography, no matter what genre, objectifies women. That is a basic fact. Adding more diversity to porn will not solve women’s issues or all of a sudden cause every man in the world to accept women as human beings. Men, who view porn will still see women as fuck objects and nothing more!

Fat women are either socialized by their patriarchal society to hate their bodies or that their only worth is to be a certain man’s fetish. However, in mainstream society fat women are seen as repulsive and mentally ill people if they EVEN DARED to love their bodies. Fat people in general are seen as a waste of space, as a tragedy, something to mourn over because they are not a certain weight. Fat persons are constantly assaulted with advertisements that promote the message of self-hatred about their bodies by demanding that they should lose weight if they look a certain way so the fat person is accepted and loved by insecure people who use their insecurity to attack another person’s self-esteem. Weight loss television shows are the worst offenders of fat hatred. The creators of this show portray fat people as people who need saving because they are fat. The personal trainers are never questioned for the “ability” on health or the benefits of conforming to a certain body shape. The personal trainers resemble the unquestionable authority because they use force to make people conform to their standards. Then there are the doctors that appear in commercials promoting  products that should help them lose weight. Instead, these products are harmful and these products contain harmful ingredients that could harm the person’s system or worse kill them.

People who are not associated with said fat woman can cause harm as well. They can quickly judge the woman on what they perceive without even socializing with the woman. This is also harmful due to said fat woman believing that everyone who is not associated with said fat woman will judge the person the same way.

Fat women can also be objectified and fetishized by men who feel that skinny women do not satisfy their sexual appetites enough. These entitled men do not see fat women as human beings any more than men who see skinny women as mere objects for heterosexual male pleasure. Fat women’s sexuality is also seen as repulsive or seen as comedic, demeaning material to dehumanize fat women and their sexuality to the point of said fat women feeling ashamed for it.

Fat-phobia also harms people of color because when people of color are fat, the white narrative views them as uneducated, unintelligible monsters that need to be tamed by white people or they get turned into a joke for white people to laugh and mock.

It is people who are so oblivious to their privilege that they do not see the damage they cause to others when they think they are “helping” these fat people when their advice is as helpful giving very vague directions to a destination.

These privileged people need to understand that if we wanted their advice we would most kindly ask for it. It seems that since most people who are happy with their lives seem to get unneeded advice from strangers, who like to impose their beliefs on rationally thinking people, they do not seem to understand the meaning of  “I am perfectly fine with how I choose to live my life. You have no right to impose on me.”

Women who live in their patriarchal society are taught to take this advice without questioning the stranger’s intention because women are in constant need of advice from judgmental strangers who have no knowledge of the person they are advising, according to patriarchy. Women can be as wise as men when deliberating on their decisions, however, the worshipers of patriarchy refuse to believe this. The worshipers refuse to see women as complex humans with thoughts of their own.

If the goals of equality are to be accomplished, men must take into account the privilege they receive the minute they are born. They must also understand that not every woman they encounter will comply to their sexual demands and that women are not slaves to their appetites but human beings with their own needs and desires. Not every woman will be of the heterosexual persuasion and will most certainly not take kindly to such grotesque demands from men to sexually perform for them.