Fat hatred is rampant in the pornified culture we live in. Sometimes fat hatred is more subtle than we think it is. Fat hatred could be a matter of commenting on the individual’s weight within the context of demanding that they lose weight, not for the individual’s benefit but for the benefit of the men that want to treat you like a fuck object. “But Bedelia, there is fat porn!” I hear you say, the point of fat porn is to objectify fat women, to lower them to the status of objects like their skinny counterparts. Pornography, no matter what genre, objectifies women. That is a basic fact. Adding more diversity to porn will not solve women’s issues or all of a sudden cause every man in the world to accept women as human beings. Men, who view porn will still see women as fuck objects and nothing more!
Fat women are either socialized by their patriarchal society to hate their bodies or that their only worth is to be a certain man’s fetish. However, in mainstream society fat women are seen as repulsive and mentally ill people if they EVEN DARED to love their bodies. Fat people in general are seen as a waste of space, as a tragedy, something to mourn over because they are not a certain weight. Fat persons are constantly assaulted with advertisements that promote the message of self-hatred about their bodies by demanding that they should lose weight if they look a certain way so the fat person is accepted and loved by insecure people who use their insecurity to attack another person’s self-esteem. Weight loss television shows are the worst offenders of fat hatred. The creators of this show portray fat people as people who need saving because they are fat. The personal trainers are never questioned for the “ability” on health or the benefits of conforming to a certain body shape. The personal trainers resemble the unquestionable authority because they use force to make people conform to their standards. Then there are the doctors that appear in commercials promoting products that should help them lose weight. Instead, these products are harmful and these products contain harmful ingredients that could harm the person’s system or worse kill them.
People who are not associated with said fat woman can cause harm as well. They can quickly judge the woman on what they perceive without even socializing with the woman. This is also harmful due to said fat woman believing that everyone who is not associated with said fat woman will judge the person the same way.
Fat women can also be objectified and fetishized by men who feel that skinny women do not satisfy their sexual appetites enough. These entitled men do not see fat women as human beings any more than men who see skinny women as mere objects for heterosexual male pleasure. Fat women’s sexuality is also seen as repulsive or seen as comedic, demeaning material to dehumanize fat women and their sexuality to the point of said fat women feeling ashamed for it.
Fat-phobia also harms people of color because when people of color are fat, the white narrative views them as uneducated, unintelligible monsters that need to be tamed by white people or they get turned into a joke for white people to laugh and mock.
It is people who are so oblivious to their privilege that they do not see the damage they cause to others when they think they are “helping” these fat people when their advice is as helpful giving very vague directions to a destination.
These privileged people need to understand that if we wanted their advice we would most kindly ask for it. It seems that since most people who are happy with their lives seem to get unneeded advice from strangers, who like to impose their beliefs on rationally thinking people, they do not seem to understand the meaning of “I am perfectly fine with how I choose to live my life. You have no right to impose on me.”
Women who live in their patriarchal society are taught to take this advice without questioning the stranger’s intention because women are in constant need of advice from judgmental strangers who have no knowledge of the person they are advising, according to patriarchy. Women can be as wise as men when deliberating on their decisions, however, the worshipers of patriarchy refuse to believe this. The worshipers refuse to see women as complex humans with thoughts of their own.
If the goals of equality are to be accomplished, men must take into account the privilege they receive the minute they are born. They must also understand that not every woman they encounter will comply to their sexual demands and that women are not slaves to their appetites but human beings with their own needs and desires. Not every woman will be of the heterosexual persuasion and will most certainly not take kindly to such grotesque demands from men to sexually perform for them.