And Logic Has Left the Building……..

If there was ever a point where I am so flabbergasted by the idiocy of human beings that I have no idea what to type, this would be one of those times. Jessica, a writer on ImperfectParent, demonstrates her complete lack of trying to understand the complexities of society and the gender roles that Patriarchy enforces on children. Her article about a book called “My Princess Boy” is a classic example of people stifling the spirit of children. Not only is her post offensive but the comments in the article are equally offensive but first, let’s focus on the article.

Jessica starts off by titling her article “My Princess Boy: Must our children be burdened with this?” And this is where I facepalm myself really badly. The author is implying that the author of My Princess Boy is trying to torment the poor children by telling them that it is okay to be different. To wear a dress and because a boy is wearing a dress, that doesn’t mean that he deserves to be bullied for it. Same with little girls who are into “guy things.” There should be no double standards here. How hard a concept is that to understand?

Apparently for Jessica, it is very difficult. She cannot seem to understand for the life of her why a boy would want to wear a dress. Here in the following quote, she decides to go the “gender roles are natural” route and falls flat on her face in the process of reaching that conclusion.

The problem as I see it is this — gender roles are a NORMAL part of growing up. It’s a healthy distinction and children are who are not born with a gender identity issue or who are comfortable with their gender, as most people are, shouldn’t be made to feel that gender is interchangeable and something that is only imposed by big, bad people in a big, bad society.

I guess she must have a problem with women with short hair and *gasp* pants? I mean, that is what MEN wear! Men are naturally inclined to beat women to a pulp. Right? Right?!? No, Jessica, social constructs are not “natural.” You are confusing gender with sex. A girl wearing pants and t-shirt does not mean that she thinks that she is male. She is wearing clothes that are COMFORTABLE. The same with the boy wearing the dress or maybe because he likes wearing dresses? But, oh, that is impossible, isn’t it? How could children not always fall in line with Patriarchy? I mean, we are raising them to be the dead soldiers in our society, correct? Those little fags should be muscular and macho guys! Take off that dress! You are a boy, not a girl! *wags a scolding finger*

She also does not seem to understand that, yes, it IS society that is forcing gender roles on children. Unless she has living under a rock for the past century, you cannot go anywhere without some advertisement selling toys to specific children based on “gender.” (Barbies for girls. Trucks for boys, remember?). You cannot go anywhere without some asshole making a misogynistic or homophobic comment and people enabling it. These are not isolated incidents and it is also not “natural” for people to be total jackasses. These events plus many more are a symptom of a very screwed up society. A society built on the degradation and humiliation of the oppressed classes. We make excuses for why we oppress them and it is perfectly accepted and toted a “natural.” To say so, is excusing bad behavior and saying that it is completely okay to bully people. I guess it was perfectly “natural” for Neurotypical people to bully me because I am Autistic? That it is perfectly okay and that it is not the fault of the parents for not teaching their children to not bully other children?

She continues on her very short rant on those silly boys in dresses by stating that “gender roles are a complex idea for children.” Didn’t she say a while ago that gender roles are a “normal part of growing up”? If the concept of gender was so darn complex then why the claim that gender roles are a natural part of growing up?

That is a big, complex idea for children. While my heart goes out to this child and I hope he can find peace and understanding amongst the world of cruel children, however, if you’re going to test the boundaries and celebrate it, you can’t expect to have the world join you. Good, bad or indifferent, there will be emotional consequences as with most choices in life.

Here is something that will blow Jessica’s mind: children are not naturally cruel, they are not some separate alien race that just landed on this planet and decided to be nasty people. You want to know who taught them to be that way? I will give you a hint: It has nothing to do with “gender” and it is not incredibly complicated. Their parents taught them to be that way. Children do not just inherent awful ideas about people out of thin air, they learn some of their behavior from their parents and society. I am pretty sure the boy in the story is just asking the mean kids to, I don’t know, let him be himself? Let him to do what he wants? What? Granting children the same basic human rights is too much work for parents? I am also pretty certain that the boy is not asking the world to “join him.” Whatever the fuck that means. He is saying “I am here. I like dresses. I am no different from you. I am a human being and I deserve to be treated with respect.” I am also 100% certain that he is at peace with himself and other gender non-conforming children. Thank you very much. Is that such an awful burden on children? Doesn’t sound like it to me. Would you, also care to explain “emotional consequences”?

She finishes off her short rant with a phrase that would need a “no shit, Sherlock” button. Her claims that allowing a child of either sex to wear the clothing of their choosing is “politically correct” is nonsense. Her claim is attempting to erase the issue of bullying by blaming the victim for their suffering and not the people and the society that shaped those bullies in the first place. First off, asking children to be accepting of another child is not “putting a burden on them.” How hard could it be to teach children to be compassionate unless you are a walking cold stone yourself, it is not that hard to teach your kids the “golden rule.”

One thing that our children need to learn is not everybody is going to like them and accept them and that’s okay, however, my real issue with all of this is that we’ve come into such a politically correct society that everyone, every parent, thinks that their children’s “problems” need to be every child’s burden to bear and I don’t see how that’s helpful. The world does not revolve around any child. The world does not revolve around bullies, it doesn’t revolve around the child who gets everything she wants and it doesn’t revolve around a preschool boy who chooses to wear dresses.

Wearing clothing of the opposite sex does not equal wanting the world to revolve around them. Wearing is just that, wearing a dress. No hidden agenda or secret plot to turn the world into a gay mardi gras! The book is about a boy living his life as he chooses and his parents giving him the respect her deserves. This book is also about breaking away from the rules of society. If that message is too much for Jessica to handle then I have nothing else to tell her.

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A Rapist is a Rapist (or How Rape Is Used In Patriarchy)

The amount of victim-shaming and blaming that comes from people in the case of rape is staggering. No one seems to blame a victim of robbery or a hit and run. The blame is mostly placed on the perpetrator and not the victim in cases like the before mentioned. What makes the crime of rape so different from other crimes? What makes people think that the crime of rape is the victim’s fault?

Rape is violation of the body both externally and internally. Externally because the body is severely harmed by the attack of the body. Internally because the psychological scars are permanent.

The main perpetrators of this crime are men. Men who want to dominate, to control their victim. Men who feel stronger than their victim and want the victim to be aware of their authority over them. The victim of this horrible crime is a woman in all cases of rape including little girls. Whenever a woman speaks about her victimization in the case of rape, she is immediately dismissed and everything from her attire to how she behaved during that event seems to be somehow relevant to the crime and not the perpetrator.

Over at Blue Milk, the author points out that there is a double standard in the case of rape and the women that are victims of this crime, seems to need to go through a test before society considers them legitimate victims:

For us the assumption is that we were somehow asking for it unless we met some kind of endless test of resistance. Were we sober enough, dressed appropriately, virginal enough, not too flirtatious, did we say no loudly enough, did we explicitly say that we are not into gangbanging, because if we weren’t entirely specific about that point well then how were they to know – they couldn’t possibly tell by the way we just froze up in fear?

Of course, feminists never denied that there are male victims of rape too. However, it is not in the same degree as women and when they get raped and come forward with the accusation, the world mourns the loss of their innocence and their behavior or attire is never called into question unlike female rape victims.

How is it the victim’s responsibility to avoid getting raped? Oh, of course, it is always the case of the woman but never the little boy or the man who gets raped. It is never the fault of the male victim who gets raped by another man or a group of men, it is always the fault of the woman who gets raped by a man or group of men!

Yes, there are women that reinforce this mindset of female victims taking responsibility as well and in my opinion the women should remove that way of thinking. There is nothing worse than a woman who should fight along with us women but instead take the side of the perpetrator. This phenomenon is known as internalized misogyny. I have explained a bit about internalized misogyny in my last post but I will go more in-depth. Internalized misogyny is basically when women believe that taking the side of the enemy will help them avoid being the victim of oppression. An “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality. Only in this case “if we can’t beat them by fighting against the patriarchy with other women, might as well side with men and join in on the misogyny so we don’t get hurt.” The problem with this mentality is that the women will still get hurt in the end, when the men lose interest in them.

If women can so easily “cry rape” and get men easily persecuted, why do at least 90% of the cases get dropped by the victim? It couldn’t be that there is so much pressure and scorn on the victim that they do not want to deal with it anymore so they drop the case? I mean, it’s not like women ever experience any kind of pressure in any situation, right? Those rotten whores always get what they want! The poor men are always persecuted for defending their sacred right to fuck who they want! They should have a right to not think about the women they harm or kill!

See how harmful those assumptions are? Especially to women and men? Men seem to think that they are more reasonable than women but when it comes to rape and women’s liberation, they always act unreasonable. Hell, they seem to want women to fear them! To dominate them and make women hate themselves for their existence.

That is where the power dynamics between men and women begin. Women go through the patriarchal brainwashing and come out submissive and basically give in when a man demands sex from them. Men get brainwashed by the patriarchy and become hideous monsters who rape the weak and get away with it almost every single time! That power dynamic never ends, women experience patriarchal control in very aspects of their lives under patriarchy and men rule over women and reap the benefits of being the patriarchal rulers.

Rape is the result of patriarchal domination and the victims of patriarchy are what the rulers of patriarchy consider weak or below them. Hierarchical structures are the result of patriarchy and the main reason women are second class citizens under white, heterosexual, upper class men! Patriarchy will not disappear over time while men are still in leadership roles. Women need to be the leaders and strength in numbers are a necessity in order for patriarchy to be defeated and rape will be non-existent.

I Have a Right to Be Angry!

I absolutely hate it when people tell me to calm down when I wasn’t even expressing anger. Why are people so willing to defend a man who was angrily expressing his arguments while a woman who does the same thing gets labeled a “crazy bitch”? Why am I not allowed to express my anger? Why do people get so bloody defensive about women’s emotions?

I’ll tell you why, it’s because of patriarchy. Patriarchy is the reason men get permission by the patriarchy and the willing supporters of this system to be fully functioning and expressive humans while women are the docile submissive sex class that the patriarchy wants women to be. When women express their anger in an argument, their argument is immediately seen as less important than the emotion that is carrying it and the women is “irrational” or “psychotic” for expressing her anger during the argument.

One thing that has irritated me is the new phrase “calm your hormones!” HOW IS THIS STATEMENT NOT SEXIST?!? Would anyone say this exact phrase to man when he is angry? I honestly thought women were equal now! I guess not, because if women were equal, I would not be told by my sister to “calm my hormones” if I expressed even ONE ounce of annoyance. I would have every right to express my anger, my sadness and every other emotion that is suitable for the situation without being considered “unstable.” Sadly though, we still live in a patriarchal jail, where women are the prisoners and men are the prison guards, free to abuse women and humiliate them without consequences because men are the authority.

The women who follow the men’s rules get special treatment from them. These men see the women who obey as “reasonable” and even “model women” that every “unstable” and “psychotic” woman should take example from and to not even dare have the nerve to question these men or bruise their fragile male egos. This behavior from men when women act their role within society is purely misogynistic and patronizing to the women. The women who obey, however, do not seem to have an issue with being seen as less than the men they obey without question. These women are handmaidens to the patriarchy.  These women need to realize that these men are not their friends, that the power they have has been given by men for doing everything the men told them to do.

I see these women as the depressed housewives back in the 50’s when they became depressed with their role as housewife and not given other options in their lives, so their doctors give them antidepressants to keep the women happy in their role as prisoner in their homes. The women who became housewives for the benefit of men back in 50’s were physically abused, raped and their motherly instincts would be called into question if they mistakenly forgotten to give their child a bag lunch that day. If a man makes a mistake he is forgiven while if a woman makes a similar mistake she is chastised, humiliated and is reminded that because of her sex, she is not suitable for a certain task that men have the capability to perform with ease.

Women have every right to be as angry as men are when the situation calls for it. Women need to get angry for the women who suffer every day under patriarchy. Women need to be angry at the men who rape women. Women need to get angry at the beauty standards men push on women daily. Women need to get angry at the lack of  awareness of women’s issues. Women need to get angry at the men that patronize them. Women need to get angry and fight back.

MRAs don’t care about the women in their lives

The title is pretty much a well-known fact among the feminist community. Men’s rights activists, in general, don’t care about women; not even the women in their lives matter to them. If there are MRAs that DO care about women and that would be a very small percentage then good for you. Now all the MRAs that do care about women need to realize that their privilege harms the woman they claim to care about. Their privilege is the cause of women’s oppression, why the sex industry still exist,why women are more likely to be raped then men and why women are criticized for the little things while men can get away with something as little as having a pot belly.

Feminists such as myself never denied that men and boys get raped. What we find most horrifying is that they feel that it is feminism’s fault for the rape of men, that women are the ones raping men but they are not raping each other, that they are not committing violent acts against each other and women. That it is our fault that boys get sexually abused by men in positions of power and authority. The likelihood of a woman raping a man or physically strong enough to dominate him is pretty small compared to the number of women that are raped by their male romantic partners or the men that are close to them. Feminists  are also very concerned about the emotional well-being of children and that includes boys.

In their minds, they have the authority to question out experiences and suffering while we are not allowed to criticize their authority. That is pretty much the definition of hypocrisy and privilege denial.

If a woman fights, it is because she is defending herself, she is fighting back against the system that oppresses her. She is fighting for the unknown number of women that have been raped by men and murdered for 6,000 years. The women who are being prostituted, humiliated, abused, enslaved and maimed.

These MRAs however don’t see that, all they can see is that their privilege is in jeopardy by a woman fighting back. They hate women that never listen or submit to them or are physically strong enough to fight and beat them at their own game.

These men have the nerve to blame feminism for the way society treats them, their sexuality and pretty much anything else they can think of when they are pointing the finger at everyone but themselves and patriarchy for the wrongs of the poor innocent men.

They have the nerve to shit on the women that sacrificed everything for them! Their health, careers, personal freedom, money, time and friends to raise them. This is the thanks their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, cousins and sisters get? This is what the women in their lives sacrificed for? To be shitted on for nothing? To put up with their misogyny? Their rapist mindsets? Their denial of their privilege? The denial of the harm they cause to women including the ones in their lives? Is this what women get for demanding the same rights and treatment as men?

If MRAs really want to free men from the oppressive society, then they should be extremely critical of the portrayal of men as rapists, they should be critical of the patriarchal norm of masculinity. They should realize that their privilege harms women. They should reject the patriarchy and its perception of masculinity. They should realize that they have the ability and the consciousness to stop rape. To stop the oppression of women. If they acknowledge this and actually do something about women’s oppression and reject the patriarchy then they would be a legitimate movement.

Letter to fellow Anarchists (and other radical leftists)

Reposted from my other blog: Life In The Patriarchal Matrix

My fellow Comrades,

It seems that everyday, I come into contact with a manarchist who believes women have more economic, political and social power compared to men in western society. I would like to believe that the majority of anarchists will disagree with this assumption. I call this belief an assumption because there is no evidence that backs up their claims.

They use the example of a few rich white women, who are born into riches and have never worked for there own economic independence in society. They seem to believe that these women have more privilege then them. That these women hold all the power in the world and not the white men-who have more power then said rich women- that share the same class status as them. Nor, do they seem to think that the manarchists in question have more privilege then the rich women they complain about. This is a sad fact that women who are born into money are not more or equally privileged as men. In fact, the privilege the women have received from birth have been given to them by their fathers. Not their mother, their fathers, the ones who have the most privilege. The ones who get away with abusing women because of their economic status.

A concept such as male privilege doesn’t seem to exist to these men or is a myth created by feminists to oppress these poor innocent men and violate their right to fuck any woman they wish without consequence, if the aforementioned women are raped by these entitled men. Anarchist women such as myself are constantly on our toes when a supposed anarchist man approaches us because us anarchist women are wary to their sugar- coated misogyny and entitlement to our bodies. Unfortunately, some women fall easily into their trap and they are surprised when they come out bruised and raped by the men who is supposedly on our side where women’s liberation is concerned.

These men do not support women’s liberation. They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing. They manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, abuse and many more horrible crimes against women. Yet, they expect us to accept them as part of our political spectrum, to forgive them for transgressions against us.  I should say that an an anarchist feminist, that we need to realize who the real enemy is. Who we need to oppose and who is not on our side.

Fat-phobia

Fat hatred is rampant in the pornified culture we live in. Sometimes fat hatred is more subtle than we think it is. Fat hatred could be a matter of commenting on the individual’s weight within the context of demanding that they lose weight, not for the individual’s benefit but for the benefit of the men that want to treat you like a fuck object. “But Bedelia, there is fat porn!” I hear you say, the point of fat porn is to objectify fat women, to lower them to the status of objects like their skinny counterparts. Pornography, no matter what genre, objectifies women. That is a basic fact. Adding more diversity to porn will not solve women’s issues or all of a sudden cause every man in the world to accept women as human beings. Men, who view porn will still see women as fuck objects and nothing more!

Fat women are either socialized by their patriarchal society to hate their bodies or that their only worth is to be a certain man’s fetish. However, in mainstream society fat women are seen as repulsive and mentally ill people if they EVEN DARED to love their bodies. Fat people in general are seen as a waste of space, as a tragedy, something to mourn over because they are not a certain weight. Fat persons are constantly assaulted with advertisements that promote the message of self-hatred about their bodies by demanding that they should lose weight if they look a certain way so the fat person is accepted and loved by insecure people who use their insecurity to attack another person’s self-esteem. Weight loss television shows are the worst offenders of fat hatred. The creators of this show portray fat people as people who need saving because they are fat. The personal trainers are never questioned for the “ability” on health or the benefits of conforming to a certain body shape. The personal trainers resemble the unquestionable authority because they use force to make people conform to their standards. Then there are the doctors that appear in commercials promoting  products that should help them lose weight. Instead, these products are harmful and these products contain harmful ingredients that could harm the person’s system or worse kill them.

People who are not associated with said fat woman can cause harm as well. They can quickly judge the woman on what they perceive without even socializing with the woman. This is also harmful due to said fat woman believing that everyone who is not associated with said fat woman will judge the person the same way.

Fat women can also be objectified and fetishized by men who feel that skinny women do not satisfy their sexual appetites enough. These entitled men do not see fat women as human beings any more than men who see skinny women as mere objects for heterosexual male pleasure. Fat women’s sexuality is also seen as repulsive or seen as comedic, demeaning material to dehumanize fat women and their sexuality to the point of said fat women feeling ashamed for it.

Fat-phobia also harms people of color because when people of color are fat, the white narrative views them as uneducated, unintelligible monsters that need to be tamed by white people or they get turned into a joke for white people to laugh and mock.

It is people who are so oblivious to their privilege that they do not see the damage they cause to others when they think they are “helping” these fat people when their advice is as helpful giving very vague directions to a destination.

These privileged people need to understand that if we wanted their advice we would most kindly ask for it. It seems that since most people who are happy with their lives seem to get unneeded advice from strangers, who like to impose their beliefs on rationally thinking people, they do not seem to understand the meaning of  “I am perfectly fine with how I choose to live my life. You have no right to impose on me.”

Women who live in their patriarchal society are taught to take this advice without questioning the stranger’s intention because women are in constant need of advice from judgmental strangers who have no knowledge of the person they are advising, according to patriarchy. Women can be as wise as men when deliberating on their decisions, however, the worshipers of patriarchy refuse to believe this. The worshipers refuse to see women as complex humans with thoughts of their own.

If the goals of equality are to be accomplished, men must take into account the privilege they receive the minute they are born. They must also understand that not every woman they encounter will comply to their sexual demands and that women are not slaves to their appetites but human beings with their own needs and desires. Not every woman will be of the heterosexual persuasion and will most certainly not take kindly to such grotesque demands from men to sexually perform for them.