Reverse Sexism, Child Safety: One is More Important (and Real) Than the Other

Females have to constantly plan their lives around avoiding attention from predatory males and how they can successfully avoid a confrontation without the harassment being escalated into an attack. Males often get very defensive when a woman speaks out against the abuse she experiences from males with the added bonus of being accused of being “sexist” and the little church mice who are within earshot either wag their fingers at the woman in question or they wag their finger at the male. Most often than not, it is the former that receives the finger wagging and not the latter. It is unfortunate that these males feel so entitled to co-opt feminist language and use it against females when criticism of male privilege and power ever occurs in a discussion among females.

Recently, a male named Johnny McGirr (very fitting, eh?) is claiming “sexism” and “discrimination” after a flight attendant for Virgin Australia told him to switch seats with a woman because of a policy that states that males are not allowed to be seated next minors and as bad luck would have it, he sat next to two young boys both aged eight and ten. The poor male felt that he was unjustly mistreated and “discriminated” against for simply being male and suspected of being a “potential pedophile.”  Now, I am not one for false accusations. But it seems that this man feels that he is being wrongfully convicted of a terrible crime that he never committed! Oh, for the love of all that is good! A simple request to move to another seat does not equal discrimination! If you are going to compare A MINOR SEAT CHANGE to discrimination (of which everyone except white, upper class, straight, able-bodied/minded males have experienced) than I seriously hope you have a very logical reason to call it “discrimination.”

Policies like this are there for a reason, to protect children from potential pedophiles who will take advantage of the child’s vulnerability in a crowded space. This male feels that this policy is unfair to him, that the airline should put his comfort before the safety of children. This man’s actions and words are the biggest examples of a selfish entitled male who feels that he can have what ever space he wants and no one should question his demand! As Meghan Murphy from Feminist Current states, sexism will not be dismantled under the guise of protecting privileged fragile egos:

If dudes like Johnny actually gave a shit about sexism and, like, actually wanted women and children to both feel and truly be safe in this world, then there are some things they are going to have to do: a) stop molesting/assaulting/raping/beating, b) stop standing by while  other men molest/assault/rape/beat, and c) stop covering up for and protecting creeps and abusers.

What’s next, you ‘re going to force me to sit next to you on the bus because otherwise I’m sexist? Shut up.

Sexism will not be eradicated by pretending it doesn’t exist. Women and children not being raped or exploited is more important than your comfort. I wish it wasn’t the case that taking the bus to work was a cause for stress. Every single day. But it is. And THAT is because of sexism. Get it? Men raping women and children is what inequality looks like. Being afraid that a man is going to harass or assault us is sexist, yes, but it is NOT SEXIST AGAINST MEN.

It is insulting to call his little moment of embarrassment “sexism” for simply asking him to put the concerns of children (who are travelling alone, by the way) before his selfish need for entitlement. It is insulting that males have to claim that any criticism against them is “sexist” because their precious feelings are hurt! Women and children are harassed, assaulted, raped and abused by males every day! You would think that someone who works in a life saving occupation would understand policies such as this but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Even people in life saving occupations feel entitled to another person’s space and they get angry when the slightest bit of discomfort is mentioned from the underprivileged party.

This man is wasting everyone’s time with his petty cries of “sexism” and “false judgement.” He is co-opting feminist language and using it to protect his entitlement and privilege. He is also disregarding the safety of children who are travelling alone because of a minor inconvenience! Such selfishness from anyone in any situation would be called “morally repugnant” but apparently that is not the case for white males.

Meghan Murphy’s very intelligent response Here

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Spanking is Abuse! Why Am I not Surprised?

By Barbara Bronson Gray
HealthDay Reporter
MONDAY, July 2 (HealthDay News) —
Spanking or slapping your children may increase the odds that they will develop mental health issues that plague them in adulthood, a new study suggests.

Researchers in Canada found that up to 7 percent of a range of mental health disorders were associated with physical punishment, including spanking, shoving, grabbing or hitting, during childhood.

“We’re not talking about just a tap on the bum,” said study author Tracie Afifi, an assistant professor in the department of community health sciences at the University of Manitoba, in Winnipeg.
“We were looking at people who used physical punishment as a regular means to discipline their children.”

Corporal punishment was associated with increased odds of anxiety and mood disorders, including major depression, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, agoraphobia and social phobia. Several personality disorders and alcohol and drug abuse were also linked to physical punishment, the researchers found.

“What’s really important is to know that spanking and other forms of physical punishment come at a cost,” said Afifi. “Physical punishment should not be used on children at any age under any circumstances.”

While the study finds an association between physical punishment and mental illness, it does not prove that one causes the other.

Previous studies have linked physical punishment to aggression in children, delinquency and emotional, developmental and behavioral impairment. But this study examined its effects on mental health in the absence of more severe physical abuse, sexual abuse or other forms of neglect and mistreatment.

For the study, published online July 2 in the journal Pediatrics, the researchers used 2004-2005 data on about 34,000 individuals aged 20 or older gathered from the U.S. National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Participants were questioned face-to-face and asked, on a scale of “never” to “very often,” how often they were ever pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped or hit by their parents or another adult living their home. Those who reported “sometimes” or greater were considered as having experienced harsh physical punishment.

About 6 percent of respondents were considered to have suffered harsh physical punishment. Boys, blacks and those from more educated, more affluent families were most likely to report such abuse, the researchers said.

The researchers adjusted the data to take into account socio-demographic factors and any family history of dysfunction.

Thirty-two countries prohibit physical punishment of children by parents or caregivers, but the practice is legal in the United States and Canada, according to background information in the study. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends against the use of physical punishment as a form of child discipline.

Nevertheless, the researchers say a survey of U.S. adults showed that 48 percent of respondents reported a history of harsh physical punishment without more severe abuse. A 2010 University of North Carolina study revealed that nearly 80 percent of preschool children in the United States are spanked.

Some experts support the notion that harsh discipline can negatively affect kids but express concerns about the specific implications of this new study.

“While it’s a well-done study, looking at a national data sample, there are limitations in the way the study was done,” said Dr. Andrew Adesman, chief of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Steven and Alexandra Cohen Children’s Medical Center in New Hyde Park, N.Y. “There are limitations to relying on adults recalling childhood experiences, and it’s hard to control for familial psychopathology.”

Adesman added that while the research reinforces that there are now more good reasons not to use physical punishment, “we can’t infer that physical punishment leads to major psychological disorders.”

Still, Adesman said the public needs more education about the dangers of physical punishment to children and the alternatives that parents can effectively use.

“There’s a general presumption that parenting comes naturally, but there are things people need to learn. We have PSAs [public service announcements] about all kinds of health issues, but I’ve yet to hear any tips for providing non-physical punishment to children.”

Article here

Yes, You ARE a Bigot!

I have received word from an autism awareness group on Facebook that a mother of an autistic child wrote a blog post about how her 10 year autistic son learned to write for the first time and telling autism to “suck it.” I find attitudes like that to be extremely offensive and dangerous to autistic people such as myself. It brings up the image that autism is some sort of disease or monster that needs to be eliminated. Of course, the author of the post makes it obvious that she is neurologically typical by the way she talks about her son and his identity as an autistic person.

She also said some extremely offensive and ableist things such as:

 I watched the light go out from his eyes at 12 months of age and I have fought tooth and nail since then to turn it back on, even when others told me there was little hope, even when I spent the first few years drinking myself numb, even when he didn’t even know I was in the room with him.

I absolutely HATE phrases like “I watched the light go out from his eyes….” because it implies that autistic people are lifeless of which they are not! Autistic people have as much life as non-autistic people and it is incredibly offensive to autistic people.

Another disgusting phrase:

This is NOT THE SAME as saying that people with autism suck. My son has autism. My son most definitely does not suck. In fact, he’s amazing, funny, loving, beautiful, inspiring. But he’s also being held hostage by a disorder that comes in many shapes and sizes, a disorder that in our house, is not a welcome guest but rather a selfish and thoughtless intruder. The fact that I do not embrace autism as something to be romanticized or adored does not mean I do not love the bejezus out of my son. I also realize that autism is a part of who he is, has shaped a portion of the person he has become and continues to be. But if someone handed me a guaranteed cure tomorrow, I wouldn’t hesitate one nanosecond before shoving it down his throat. I would risk losing a portion of the little boy I love so fiercely and unequivocally if it meant that he would have a chance at navigating this life without the bondage of autism.

Oh noes, my son has autism! He is being held hostage by who he is! I am gonna pretend that my autistic son does not understand how words like that is extremely offensive and hurtful TO HIM and other AUTISTIC PEOPLE because of my ableist/sanist/mentalist privilege! Of course, she is not gonna give a shit about her son’s feelings! It’s all about how the awesome neurotypical mother battled against her son’s autism in order for him to be “normal.”

There is nothing wrong with being proud of your autistic child for his/her accomplishments but if you are going to imply that accomplishment somehow defeated autism then you are displaying ableism! You are saying that autism is curable if you force a certain type of normalcy on them! If an autistic person tells you that certain phrase if offensive, don’t shrug it off! Listen to them! Do not dismiss them! They know more about living with autism then you do.  If you go around dismissing them for bullshit reasons then expect people to react and be angry at you.

Another quote which dismisses the people who point out her ableism:

I invite those of you who consider me an ableist for telling autism to SUCK IT to come into my home and spend a day with me and Andrew. I invite you to see the reality that my child lives with as he struggles against the silence that blankets him, falls apart when those around him don’t understand his needs, and begs for mercy when the sights and sounds of life come bearing down upon his ears and nervous system. I want you to see the drooling, hear the teeth grinding and the desperate wails, watch as he wills his body to keep up with his younger brother even though he doesn’t stand a chance.

I just love how external experiences with autism are somehow the same as internal experiences with autism from this woman’s perspective. I would invite this woman to walk in MY SHOES for a while and see how it is like to LIVE as an autistic person! Of course, she is unable to do this since her bigotry clouds her empathy. Funny how NTs claim that autistic people lack empathy/emotions and yet they display lack of empathy towards autistic people! I would imply that these curebies display symptoms of a sociopath but I’m too nice for that.

Low functioning autistic people such as Amanda Baggs  can speak her thoughts through a talking keyboard, when the keyboard is speaking her words, the words are incredibly eloquent and intelligent. Is she being held hostage by her autism? Is she lifeless? Of course not! She is perfectly happy with her identity as an autistic person. She doesn’t want to be cured and neither do I, a high functioning autistic.

Ashline wrote a response which is even more offensive than the last post:

So if that makes me a curebie, or a bigot or a child abuser or an ableist or whatever other fucking word du jour you come up with, so be it. You guys are just a bunch of bullies. You bully parents like me who want more for their kids and you do it all from the comfort of a life we would give anything to be able to promise our own children.

You took my message out of context and used it to make yourselves look like the victims, when the real victims here are the very children parents like me are trying to save; children who are easily overlooked, children who are in physical and emotional pain,  children who will someday be adults that society will have no idea what to do with so it’s OUR JOB TO FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT.

So pointing out your ableist privilege and stating that what you are saying about your son’s autism is extremely dangerous AND offensive to autistic people is bullying? That’s a laugh riot! Autistic children do not need to be saved from their autism! They need to be taught how to cope with the world, to teach them problem solving skills. Not to hate themselves for being autistic. That is what you are doing to your son! You are teaching him that him being autistic is BAD! No one just made up words like “ableist” just to “bully” you. Words like that have existed for as long as ableism has existed and you are dismissing these words even though you are raising a disabled child?

Autistic people are NOT suffering from their autism, they are suffering from discrimination, abuse, neglect, ignorance and self-hatred because of people like Ashline who force their domination on their autistic children. They expect autistic people such as myself to feel sorry for them when they dismiss us for pointing out their bigotry? Sorry ma’am but that is not how it works. You have to LISTEN to the autistic people and LEARN from them! If you don’t take in what the autistic community is trying to tell you then we will not waste our time with you.

Ashline needs to realize that autistic people like myself-and quite possibly her son-will fight against such bigotry and hatred against them because they deserve to be treated better! Ashline is not considering things from her son’s perspective, she is only looking at things through HER perspective which is not only ableist but dangerous for her son who in his current state of affairs is dependent on her mother’s approval and guidance! I would hate to see how he turns out if he adopts her way of thinking about neurologically diverse people.

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Destroying Capitalism and the State (and many other issues which are caused by the State)

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