I Have a Right to Be Angry!

I absolutely hate it when people tell me to calm down when I wasn’t even expressing anger. Why are people so willing to defend a man who was angrily expressing his arguments while a woman who does the same thing gets labeled a “crazy bitch”? Why am I not allowed to express my anger? Why do people get so bloody defensive about women’s emotions?

I’ll tell you why, it’s because of patriarchy. Patriarchy is the reason men get permission by the patriarchy and the willing supporters of this system to be fully functioning and expressive humans while women are the docile submissive sex class that the patriarchy wants women to be. When women express their anger in an argument, their argument is immediately seen as less important than the emotion that is carrying it and the women is “irrational” or “psychotic” for expressing her anger during the argument.

One thing that has irritated me is the new phrase “calm your hormones!” HOW IS THIS STATEMENT NOT SEXIST?!? Would anyone say this exact phrase to man when he is angry? I honestly thought women were equal now! I guess not, because if women were equal, I would not be told by my sister to “calm my hormones” if I expressed even ONE ounce of annoyance. I would have every right to express my anger, my sadness and every other emotion that is suitable for the situation without being considered “unstable.” Sadly though, we still live in a patriarchal jail, where women are the prisoners and men are the prison guards, free to abuse women and humiliate them without consequences because men are the authority.

The women who follow the men’s rules get special treatment from them. These men see the women who obey as “reasonable” and even “model women” that every “unstable” and “psychotic” woman should take example from and to not even dare have the nerve to question these men or bruise their fragile male egos. This behavior from men when women act their role within society is purely misogynistic and patronizing to the women. The women who obey, however, do not seem to have an issue with being seen as less than the men they obey without question. These women are handmaidens to the patriarchy.  These women need to realize that these men are not their friends, that the power they have has been given by men for doing everything the men told them to do.

I see these women as the depressed housewives back in the 50’s when they became depressed with their role as housewife and not given other options in their lives, so their doctors give them antidepressants to keep the women happy in their role as prisoner in their homes. The women who became housewives for the benefit of men back in 50’s were physically abused, raped and their motherly instincts would be called into question if they mistakenly forgotten to give their child a bag lunch that day. If a man makes a mistake he is forgiven while if a woman makes a similar mistake she is chastised, humiliated and is reminded that because of her sex, she is not suitable for a certain task that men have the capability to perform with ease.

Women have every right to be as angry as men are when the situation calls for it. Women need to get angry for the women who suffer every day under patriarchy. Women need to be angry at the men who rape women. Women need to get angry at the beauty standards men push on women daily. Women need to get angry at the lack of  awareness of women’s issues. Women need to get angry at the men that patronize them. Women need to get angry and fight back.

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5 thoughts on “I Have a Right to Be Angry!

  1. LOVE this post, I can feel your passion in every word. This is how I feel & people can’t understand why I get so “emotional” about it when women have come so far. We’ve still got a long way to go, and I can’t understand why more people aren’t this angry and passionate. They’re so used to being in the patriarchal jail you write about, they can’t even see it.

  2. Pingback: acknowledging anger’s function (since a whole spirit is inclusive) « JRFibonacci's blog: partnering with reality

  3. Calm your hormones, ha. What a strange phrase! (I agree with you that it is probably a female-specific insult — the only male people I ever hear dissed as “hormonal” are teenage boys, and I can’t really imagine them saying “calm your hormones!” to one another — even though the sex hormone most likely to cause bursts of irrational anger is testosterone …)

    I have a degree in biochemistry, and am the kind of autistic person who takes what she hears literally, so if I heard someone tell me to calm my hormones I would immediately start thinking of all the things that would happen if my body were to shut down hormone production. (I can’t really imagine this, because hormones do so much stuff! You would probably die — I can think of one pair of hormones, renin and angiotensin, that regulate water retention, so if THOSE shut down you would probably either dry up or explode!)

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