As everyone should know at this moment that Kara DioGaurdi is going to release a memoir titled “One Helluva High Note” on April 26th and honestly I would be interested in reading this memoir because I am interested in how a woman such as Kara DioGaurdi made it as far as she did and became a successful songwriter, which is one of my will-never-happen-in-a-lifetime dreams. There is a lot of attention surrounding the memoir particularly about DioGaurdi’s encounters with sexual harassment and molestation during her childhood and career. The following quote is from the website EntertainmentOnline:
“DioGuardi, whose new show Platinum Hit premieres on Bravo on May 30, reveals that she was repeatedly molested when she was just 11 years old by a family friend’s son who was in his late teens. “On one particular day, he took me into the back shed of his house and put his hands all over my breasts and vagina,” she writes. “I remember freezing and not knowing what to do.”
By 2000, DioGuardi’s career started to take off. It was about that time she says that a “fairly known producer” date-raped her after having what she thought was a friendly dinner. “[W]ithin a few hours, he was on top of me, pumping, sweating, and speaking to me in Spanish, not a word of which I could understand,” she writes.
She repeatedly told him to stop, but didn’t try to fight him because she was too scared he’d become violent. She never told anyone about the horrific incident because she feared he would ruin her career.
A few years later, DioGuardi found herself sexually harassed by a “hugely successful artist.” She was invited to a three-day songwriting trip. But instead of working, she writes, “the trip’s activities consisted of watching Russian porn, scavenging around the kitchen for food [and] leering at two strippers…as they performed sex acts in the living room.”
DioGuardi says she continued to work with the artist because, she writes, “I wasn’t gonna let this bastard deter me from doing the job.” She eventually walked away after he chased her around the basement of his suburban home and forced her hand on his privates.”
I can understand how painful it is to reveal such a traumatic and personal experience to the public where silence in cases of rape and molestation are very prominent and common in our everyday society. Victims of sexual abuse feel they are to blame for crime committed against them. Yet, they expect these young violated children to come forward about their feelings of violation. Don’t get me wrong the reporting of this new book didn’t anger me. It was comments like these:
Ms. “Clever” Use Of Dollar Signs:
“Oh for the love of god, stop with the $ad $tories about childhood abuse, partner abuse, etc. If you really cared you’d just shut up and donate money and time to charities that supported survivors of abuse. Instead I have to hear about it in conjunction with your g**amned promotion of your latest books, shows, movies. Enough already. People like this make me sick all over again. Time to boycott these opportunists.”
“Sounds Horrific, After the first 2 to say that the 3rd time you weren’t going to let him stop u from doing ur job sounds kinda shady also a book coming out, not to judge but why would you go on AI and take off ur raincoat with millions of people watching u. with the segment bikini girl When these horror stories come out you’d think you would be guarded, not flaunting. ur credibilty is tainted once u do that.”
The uneducated “concern”:
“It must’ve been horrible to be sexually assaulted, but she would really be most helpful to either take some sort of action against the offenders, or to directly help other women to take action. Just putting anonymous remembrances in a book doesn’t really help anyone except her bank account in selling books. In fact, her message seems to be to silently accept being assaulted in order to succeed. Not a good message. A more genuine wish to help would’ve been not a salacious book, but a public statement and public effort to work with a sexual abuse program so that other women won’t “just take it” and to increase social stigma and punishment so that it happens less.”
Oh it gets worse:
“Teri Hatcher, Ashley Judd, and now this one… Tell your family, tell your friends, tell the authorities. Tell your therapist, but why, oh why write a book?”
“I’m putting out a book too. My mom spanked me when I was bad. With a belt! Oh the horror, I must share it.”
“I agree with the person who said in one paragraph she was molested by a teenager..next she was raped by this producer or what not… then gone with this group for a writing camp or whatever it is.. What the **** is this this is crap! You know what if you want to respected.. since you are a good songwriter..you will never, never, NEVER EXPOSE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF MILLION PEOPLE JUST TO SHOW TO THE BIKINI LADY THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN HER.. THAT IS CRAP… OH COME ON KARA YOU’RE SO SHALLOW…”
“I don’t believe a bit of it. When sales go down or a show is getting bad reviews these Hollywood types always have drama. She just wants more MONEY and some fools are stupid enough to buy the books”
“Sounds like she has a broken chooser…needs to pick better people to hang with….all those things happened? And when I hear MOLESTED I think sex. Can we use GROPE if no intercourse took place? Not to diminish it, but to distinguish it….I see kids groping each other all day long”
This is just basically the majority of the comments, besides a few who are defending DioGaurdi’s decision to publish the memoir discussing what she went through her whole childhood and career before she became a well-known songwriter and her gig as judge on American Idol. I think it is absolutely ridiculous to simply put her down so quickly- before the book even reaches the selves- because she going to publish a book about her life -and an ugly one at that- before she became a songwriter and the rape apologism and sexist bullshit in the comment section just makes me and any thinking and feeling individual absolutely furious. Of course, there are those who are constantly screaming about how women are equal and that women just need to shut the fuck up about their “petty” problems and to “bend the fuck over”. The denial of such crimes ever occurring is how abusive people are able to continue the abuse through the silence and ignorance of the enablers. Women, like DioGaurdi are breaking the silence and giving courage to other victims of sexual abuse and oppression to come forward about their abuse. It is enabling idiots like the authors of these comments is what keeps these victims silent and feel ashamed and feel that justice for them will never be served. The other commenters also stated that DioGaurdi is just a “fame whore” and “annoying” even though there are a host of other celebrities such as Snooki who is a fame whore and annoying but was never raped and does not have any contributing talent to speak of, except drinking twenty shots. Yet, DioGaurdi who is a songwriter and is actually good at it gets insulted for wanting to talk about her past in a memoir!
Kara DioGaurdi is doing the right thing by discussing her past issues in her memoir because the purpose of a memoir is to tell the writer’s past experiences in written form. If certain events from your past are edited out of the memoir then a huge chunk of the writer’s past is missing and the reader will wonder what the point of writing the memoir is if the author does not speak of the events that occurred, no matter how horrifying and traumatic that experience was to the author or how horrifying it might be to the reader.
Some celebrities will write memoirs to garner attention and make a quick cash grab from the public, other celebrities will write memoirs because they want to address their past to the reader and want to move on from it. Hiding the abuse will make the pain of the abuse become too powerful to bear and that victim will find very self-destructive ways to handle the past abuse.